As said before in my last post still stands, though I am trying to fill up my schedule to clog the hole of being lonely. I realize that the time I get home there is no one to talk to who wants to talk or it’s someone I don’t want to talk to…

I’ve recently gone through so much things and touched upon the past, deleting it and wishing maybe it might’ve been better if it was erashed because it’s not working to forget and not say anything. It’s easy to do, but because I see him wherever I go and in things I do. I go into the same room that we met in every day and I try to not dwell on such unhappy things. I wonder what will happen once he sees me again…I feel like i’ve been going through what happened with my first boyfriend and our long distance. I would ride my bike as fast as I could to just see him. I would try my hardest and the thrill made me happy doing it. I never want something I love gone so I try my hardest to make it work, but apparently ends in failure as usual. (Apparently i’m sad, but I don’t feel it in my heart and only in my head and eyes.) I think the non-talking has made me sad, because it feels as though he doesn’t umm….nevermind….

I think I should be a lone wolf like before….who knows what’ll happen….but we’re going to bed again crying for the second time over such a thing. It came out of nowhere and shocked me. The past times we had…god…

I can’t write anymore, I’m just going to go to bed….

Goodnight world….